Thursday, March 25, 2010

Writing a Poem: Copy Change


Read the Poem below. Change parts of the poem to make it your own.

Afternoons and Coffeespoons

What is it that makes me just a little bit queasy?
There's a breeze that makes my breathing not so easy
I've had my lungs checked out with x-rays
I've smelled the hospital hallways.

Someday I'll have a disappearing hairline
Someday I'll wear pyjamas in the daytime

Times when the day is like a play by Sartre
When it seems a bookburning's in perfect order--
I gave the doctor my description
I've tried to stick to my prescriptions

Someday I'll have a disappearing hairline
Someday I'll wear pyjamas in the daytime

Afternoons will be measured out
Measured out, measured with
Coffeeespoons and T.S. Eliot

Maybe if I could do a play-by-playback
I could change the test results that I will get back
I've watched the summer evenings pass by
I've heard the rattle in my bronchi...

--Brad Roberts


Sarah knight
3/26/10
2nd

What is it that makes me just a little bit sick to my stomach?
There's a breeze from an open door that makes my breathing not so easy
I've had a lot of tests done on my lungs
I've smelled the food in the hospital hallway

Someday I'll have a no cancer
Someday I'll run around like I have my head cut off

Times when the day is like The Fast and the Furious
When it seems like a kid in a candy store
I gave the doctor my description
I've tried to stick to my prescriptions

Someday I'll have a no cancer
Someday I'll run around like I have my head cut off

Afternoons will be measured out
Measured out, measured with
Coffee spoons and his mail

Maybe if I could do a play-by-playback
I could change the test results that I will get back
I've watched the summer evenings pass by
I've heard the rattle in my lungs

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